S-E-X
Is sex a sin?
Click HERE to listen to this Blog
This is a short question, but it is a pretty complex question. I think we must first break this down into two smaller questions: “Is sex a sin?” and “Are sexual thoughts a sin?”
Lets start with “Is sex a sin?” The bible actually talks quite a bit about sex. In fact, there is an entire book almost completely about sex. The book is Song of Solomon and is about the love of a man for his wife. Here are a few verses from Song of Solomon.
Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine.
(Song of Solomon 1: 2)
Your lips are like scarlet ribbon; your mouth is inviting. Your cheeks are like rosy pomegranates behind your veil.
(Song of Solomon 4:3)
Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies.
(Song of Solomon 4:5)
The last two verses mentioned above are almost identical in every translation. No other way to say it, it's quite simply about love, sex, and sexuality between a man and his wife.
Genesis 1:28 is where the Bible first mentions sex. The verse says,
Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”
This is God’s command to Adam and Eve. Wow! Sex is a commandment! Genesis 2:24 also says,
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
This is saying that to have sex (become one flesh) a man should be united (married) to his wife (singular). Sex is actually both a commandment and a gift from God given to a married couple.
Ok, so sex is okay between husband and wife, but is it okay outside of marriage? Exodus 20:14 says,
Thou shall not commit adultery.
This is one of the Ten Commandments. Adultery is defined as
“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone who is not his wife or a married woman and a man that is not her husband.”
Quite simply, adultery is when married people are unfaithful sexually, and this is a sin.
Okay, so cheating is wrong, but what about two people who aren’t married? The word fornication is defined as
“sexual intercourse between people not married to each other.” The Bible talks about fornication quite a bit as well.
1 Corinthians 6:18 says,
Flee fornication. Every other sin which a man does is outside the body, but he that commits fornication sins against his own body.
This is pretty clear as well. Fornication aka sex before marriage is a sin. To go even deeper the Bible says in Matthew 5:28,
But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
This leads me to the second question. Are sexual thoughts a sin? Matthew 5:28 would suggest that lustfully looking at a woman is the same as adultery which we already concluded sinful. Not every sexual thought is a sin though. God created us to be attracted to the opposite sex. There is a difference between a thought popping into your head, very typical of humans, and lingering on a thought and indulging in it. There is also a difference between looking at someone and thinking “Wow they are pretty or handsome!” versus looking at someone and purposely imagining them naked or imagining having sex with them. 2 Timothy 2:22 says,
Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.
This is advising to remove yourself from a situation that would lead you to sin sexually, either having sex or indulging in sexual thoughts.
When I was younger, there were many times that I put myself in a situation which lead me to sexually immoral situations. There are certain things that set off your hormones! One of the biggest thing that sets off our sexual lusts is pornography. Even though you aren’t literally having sex, Matthew 5:28 says that having those sexual lusts while watching pornography is committing adultery.
Pornography is something I can speak on from my own experience. I was introduced to pornography at about 11 years old. I was walking down the street, and I saw a porno mag on the ground and picked it up and looked at it. There were also instances where friends of mine had channels on the TV that were pornographic that we watched. Even more prevalent today is pornography via the internet, which is so widely accessible. I’m pretty embarrassed to admit that even to this day I still struggle with internet pornography. I have struggled with it ever since that first time I saw it when I was 11 years old! There are other things that can set us off as well. Sex is everywhere in our society. “Sex Sells” is the motto rampant in commercials, music, television shows, and fashion. Its tough to avoid these things, but I think it starts with and effort by us as individuals. We have to try to be very mindful of what we wear, the music we listen to, and what we watch on TV and on the internet.
God does not set these boundaries to take away fun but to protect us. Its like a fish inside a fishbowl. The bowl is a boundary for the fish. The fish can decide to leave the boundary, but it would not survive long out of water. We can leave the boundaries God has set for us, but the consequences are severe. Romans 6:23 says,
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.
The consequences for sin is death, a physical and eternal death in Hell, however, the FREE gift of God is life through Jesus! If you are interested in learning more about this free gift, check out the section “What must I do to be saved?”.
Finally, what if I already did these things that I shouldn't do? There is an account in the Bible where a woman was dragged in front of a crowd because she had been "sleeping around".
They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
“No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
So, it's simple. Jesus doesn't condemn you and neither do I, but Jesus' commandment is to go and sin no more....In other words, you did it but stop it!
Okay lets summarize!
Sex between a man and a woman who are married to each other: GOOD, GREAT, HAVE AT IT!
Sex between a married person and someone they aren't married to: BAD! DON’T DO IT!
Sex between two people who are not married: BAD! RUN AWAY FAST!
Sexual thoughts: NORMAL
Lingering/lustful thoughts: BAD! RUN! AVOID TEMPTING SITUATIONS!
Already did it or do it: STOP! GO SIN NO MORE!
Did I answer this question fully or is there an aspect or something I didn’t quite answer? Ask a clarifying question at my submission page.
