Throwing Shade
If I choose to be genuinely open to someone, and they respond in a disrespectful manner, don't listen, and point fingers at me, how do I respond back to them? (Most of the time I don't respond and leave them be)
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This is a situation we face very frequently. I think we have to look at two things: How to respond back to them and how to treat the relationship.
If there is one reoccurring theme throughout the bible, it's love. The bible is a 66 book love letter, not just to the world, but specifically to me and you as individuals.
When people are disrespectful and throwing shade your way, you have to respond with love. The first way we can do this is to not respond in the same manner they are responding to you. Proverbs 26:4 says,
"Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself."
and Romans 12:17 says,
"Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all."
We have to respond in love and with tenderness. (Easier said than done, I know!).
The next step is to forgive them. Matthew 18:22-23 says,
"Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.?
In biblical times seventy times seven was about the limit of their number system. It was a phrase used to represent an uncountable, unfathomable number. In other words Jesus is saying forgive them a bagillion times. This leads me to the second issue, how to treat the relationship.
So, you have not responded to them as they have and you have forgiven them over and over and over but they still act the same way towards you. WHAT NOW?! I would seriously consider if you still want to have a relationship/friendship with this person. The bible does not say that you have to be friends with everyone on this earth. There is a perfect example of this in Genesis 13:8-9,
So Abram said to Lot, 'Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left."
Abram and Lot and their crew couldn't seem to get along, so they said, "Hey, I love you, but we gotta split." Rather than continue to quarrel against people they loved, they decided to part ways to resolve the issue.
Perhaps, however, you can't split. Maybe you see this person frequently, even daily. You should still be loving and friendly even if you aren't friends anymore.
Matthew 5:46-47 says,
"If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that."
The bible says to be loving with everyone, even people that aren't your friends, but there is nothing wrong with putting some distance between yourself and that person if you decide that is what is best for the relationship.
The final thing we can do is something that should be done throughout the entire situation--prayer. Philippians 4:6 says
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done."
God is telling us not to get overly stressed about the problem but to bring it to him. I can tell you from experience that prayer does wonders. I prayed for many years for my brother and my father to get back into church. It took many years, but God answered my prayer. A resolution may not occur over night, and it may not be the resolution that you want, but prayer does work.
We also must have faith that God will answer our prayers. Faith is not just a feeling, but it requires action. James 2:17 says,
"In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."
This means not only do we pray about it, we must also move in the situation. We must show love as I said earlier but also try to work towards a solution. We cannot just sit around idle and hope it gets better. Many times in the bible Jesus requires action. This can be seen with the most important decision we can make in our lifetime-salvation. Revelation 3:20 says,
"Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.
You can't just believe that he is there knocking, you must open the door!
Again, you must not stand idle, you must make movement. Psalm 199:113 says
"Guide my steps by your word, so I will not be overcome by evil."
Notice how it says guide my steps not guide my feet. Ultimately, you have to pray, make movements and allow God to guide your footsteps.
